We got married about 6 months ago, on May 1st, 2005, after a great deal of chaos in both our hearts. We worked in the same office, the same division, but not that many people know how we could end up marrying each other. It all started about 2 years ago...
I was going steady for about 2 years with a guy who also used to work in the same division. (i know, i suck! Isn't there anywhere else to find a bf??? My sis called me having a "melrose place syndrome".) Anyway, me n my bf had a strong relationship and i must say, this guy is the best person i have ever met. He'd pick me up in the morning (from his 20km-away-house) and took me home after work, everyday. He hanged around my house all the time, and grew very close relationship with my dearest nephew, Nanta. But everything was so routine with him, and i'm the kind of girl who gets bored real easily. Somehow, i could never feel complete with him. I was always looking, for i didn't know what. Something was missing. After almost 2 years, i couldn't bear it any longer. I needed a break. I didn't break up with him, bcoz i wasn't sure i was ready to lose the best guy i could ever find, and i also knew he would be devastated if i leave him. He loved me too much.
I decided to take a 1 month break. During that 1 month, i talked a lot with this guy named Pigar. The guy who soon became my best friend. It was sooo easy to talk to him. He never judged me for anything that i did, but somehow he could always point out the good things that i should do. Everything just clicked when i was with him, i didn’t know how or why. I liked the way he never crossed the red lights, regardless how crazy the other motorcycle riders were behaving. And if u live in Jakarta, u’ll know what i’m talking about. I liked the way he organized his stuff, and how he always washed his hands after riding his bike. And mostly, i liked the way he smiled every time he saw me doing something he didn’t approve. I think, it’s the kindest way of saying “u shouldn’t do that”.
My feelings started growing for him, but i kept it to myself. He even warned me, that as human, once in a while we want to act selfish. But there are other people to consider, and most of the time, we should think more about other people than ourself. It was his way of saying that i couldn't just leave my bf for no concrete reason. After one month, i made a decision. I chose to go back with my bf. And what did Pigar say? He said, it's a wise decision. But deep down, i felt like he was sad when he heard that.
Everything went back to normal... Well, almost normal. In one occasion, I told Pigar that i liked him, but i wasn't asking for anything coz it was way too complicated. In result, he became a little distant, and started going out with other girls. He also dyed his hair orange, i remember.
Then things finally turn to normal after some time. But not long. About 7 months after the break, i finally broke up with my bf. It was totally my mistake, u could say. I met someone else. A guy who was about to be engaged in a week with another girl. And again, he works in the same company. (I know, OH MY GOD!) We'd only known each other for a week, when i suddenly felt i was deeply in love with him.
I couldn't lie to my bf. I broke up with him the minute i realized my feelings, event hough there seemed to be no future for me and the other guy. That was when Pigar showed up one more time... He became my trash can, listening to every problem i was having with the other 2 men. (My ex n the other guy)
Things solved in about 2-3 months, and that other guy got married with his gf in July, 2004. He didn't actually make me happy, and i couldn't even remember what it was that made me feel like i loved him so much. At the time, i had put some distance with my ex. I've hurt him so bad, i couldn't hurt him anymore, i said. This time, i needed to be alone.
I concentrated on my work, myself. I changed my style a bit, dyed my hair burgundy, and tried to look my best being alone. Suddenly, after a month of being completely alone, Pigar said something that shocked me to the very core!
He likes me! Since the year before! He hadn't said a word, he even made me believe that our relationship was pure friends. I was swept away... all the feelings that i thought was gone, suddenly came back. It was THAT easy, and he became my bf. But we kept it quiet this time, remembering my history with the previous guy. We’d meet after work, and kept our relationship from any of our colleagues.
After he proposed to me and my family on February 16, 2005, we told our boss. One of us must be transferred to another division before we could get married. It was a difficult situation for both of us, since we really really liked our job. Anyone who gets transferred would be making a great deal of sacrifice, for our division seemed to be the most suitable both for us.
Things moved so fast, and he got transferred. Some people were disappointed by this decision, i know. Because he was one of the greatest graphic designer we had. (And we still haven’t found his replacement, after having 3 candidates up to today.) But there was no other choice, no one needed my Japanese skill as much as my division.
Anyway, we finally got married. He designed the invitation, and i prepared everything else. It wasn't the most beautiful wedding, but it was our happiest day. We were low-budgeted, since he was in financial difficulty and my parents just spent lots of money on my sis' wedding in December, 2004. There was no big party, just religious ceremony in a mosque and small gathering with closest friends and family.
Not everyone approved what we were doing. They talked behind our back, and judged our action, i know. But despite all the look everyone gave us, he said to me, "How long do u think people are gonna talk about us? A month? A year? Who cares! It's US who's going to live a life together, forever. It's OUR happiness." And as cliche as it may sound, i then believed, that soulmates are from God. I never expected to marry my own best friend, who is also a friend of my ex. (my very kind ex.)
After years of relationships, i was never ready to get married. But with Pigar, i took us only about 2 months to realize how much we wanted to marry each other, and a total 8 months till the wedding actually happened.
U see, the beauty of my hubby is... He is always optimistic, even more than the optimistic me. He sees the world in the most brightest way, and takes my hands to enjoy every second. He brings laughter and happiness, not only to me, but to everyone around me. We are still best friends. I can see him in both ways, as a friend and a husband. He also treats me like a friend, and a wife. He makes me laugh, cry, happy, and sad in the exact precision. At the right precentage. So, eventhough our life is not perfect, i'll always cherish the way he show his love to me. Sometimes when i look at him, i smile silently... I still can’t believe it. He’s my best friend, for God sake!
I love u, hubby.
Note: This post was originally posted on my multiply page, Oct 25, 2005.
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